The Changing Face of Marriage

My experience with the domestic church has been that my parents are both Catholic and I have been raised to believe in the Catholic traditions and taught to try to live with the qualities of honesty, kindness, and many other things that the church teaches. I have also gone to Catholic school for my entire life, I have learned more about the church because I have been able to practice and learn its teachings throughout my entire life These Christian principles are important to help me live my life and are a good basis when making decisions. To me, domestic church can help give a child the means to understood spirituality and give them the tools to help choose right and wrong and help you build a relationship that they can choose to begin to develop themselves. I think the pros of the changing structure of marriage would be that people can feel freedom to be with the person they love, without feeling the pressure to marry someone just because they are getting older, or feeling pressured to stay in a relationship that is unhealthy. However, the cons of not defining a relationship can make this commitment less formal, which causes people perhaps not seriously look at their relationship and the future they have with this person. I think there can be many statistics about marriage and divorce, but I do not think that these should change someone’s view or belief on marriage because each relationship is different. I do not think that I feel compelled to create a domestic church of my own, but I think that I will be able to choose that when the opportunity arises. However, thinking about it right now, I think that I would want to create this domestic church in my home because I enjoyed and appreciated having these Christian values to help lead my life and help me make decisions.

Dating and Hooking up

The idea of anti-daters is presented as the belief that dating is just preparing for divorce. Although people can more easily break up with their partner when they are only dating, I think it is more important to find the right partner than worrying about breaking up with someone you don't like. People need to have the opportunity to meet different people and not feel pressured to marry the person with whom they first have a romantic relationship. I don't think dating does as much harm as these anti-daters say that it does. Dating can help people use what they have learned works and doesn't work in their relationships. However, something that I agree with is that people need to find their own happiness and know themselves before entering a relationship. I think, especially today, many people date for social reasons than to find a long term relationship, but I don't think there is a problem with this as long as both people understand the circumstances. In addition, the idea of hooking up contributes to the idea that people only have these relationships for the short term. This gives people a reason not to make a committed relationship peeved, booking up can cause many more emotional problems if people regret there decison or decide that they want more from the other person.

Love Story

This love story, of my parents,  has affected my perception of relationships because I have witnessed their relationship throughout my whole life. I have noticed that love is not how it is described in movies or in songs, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t good. I learned from their story that it is best not to expect yourself to fall in love because you may meet the person you will marry when you least expect it. They were set up to meet by their mutual friends, and I learned that everyone’s love moves at their own pace. They only had known each other for a little over a year when they got married, but other couples are engaged for much longer, but it is better to do what is best for your own relationship.

Their story is not as dramatic as the stories on television and in movies, but they did meet on a “blind date” and they did fall in love rather quickly. I also think it is harder to make up in real life from a fight or a misunderstanding than is usually portrayed in movies. Often, couples have to deal with many unexpected and sudden issues hat test their relationships that are often sugarcoated in movies. A song that connects with their story is “Time After Time” by Cyndi Lauper as she sings, “If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting, Time after time,” because I think it shows how they can both rely on each other in times of need, regardless of the number of times they may need the support. I think this is an important part of having a lasting relationship.

Some Say Love...

I think by constantly hearing about love and relationship in songs, that I tend to use them to think about what I want in a relationship. I do think however, that songs and other depictions of love in the media depict a skewed image of what love and relationships really consist of. This causes many to have unrealistic expectations of the people who they are dating. I think the qualities that I look for in a relationship are for someone who accepts me the way I am and someone who would do anything for me. I also want to look for someone who is caring and that I can count on. I think that most relationships should start with friendship or have a basis of friendship so that there is respect, trust, and honesty. Because marriage is a commitment between two people, I think it is important that both people share these qualities.

“I'll stand by you, I won't let nobody hurt you, 
I'll stand by you. Take me in into your darkest hour,
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you” In her song “I’ll Stand By You”, Carrie Underwood describes this selfless love that someone will always be there for you and protect you. In Celine Dion’s song “Because You Loved Me,” she sings, “You were my strength when I was weak, You were my voice when I couldn't speak, You were my eyes when I couldn't see, You saw the best there was in me.” I think this song could apply to any relationship, either romantic or family, because it describes how someone is everything that they are today because someone cared. In Taylor Swift’s “You Belong with Me,” she sings about how her crush is with the wrong person because she understands him more than his girlfriend does. It is important that both people understand and love each other, but how does someone else know if your relationship is working out. In Maroon 5’s “Love Somebody,” they also mention the idea of falling in love, which may not be the case for all relationships. The lyrics are “But if I fall for you, I'll never recover, If I fall for you, I'll never be the same.” Lastly, in “Love Me” by Katy Perry, she sings about losing yourself for someone else. I think it is important to stay true to yourself in a relationship. The lyrics are “I lost myself in fear of losing you, I wish I didn't do, But I did, I lost my own, my own identity, Forgot that you picked me for me”

I do not believe that someone can just go out and look for his or her soul mate, but I do believe two people can be meant for each other. This type of true love cannot be immediate because I think that relationships need a strong foundation with some type of friendship connection, or at least beginning with trust and respect. If these qualities are not emplaced in the beginning, I feel like it is more difficult to establish them later. I think it is also important to realize that just because you found your soul mate or true love, you cannot stop working. Relationships need work and attention put into them so that they are successful. I think people will usually have disagreements in every relationship, but it is the ability to forgive and get past them that makes a relationship successful. Relationships are also always changing so it is important for both people to realize this and not expect someone to act the same way they did 10 years ago.  

Gender

I don’t think someone necessarily outright told me that girls are supposed to do this or wear this. However, I think many people, including myself, try to imitate the people we see who are older. I don’t think my parents ever said that I had to act one way or another or made us feel that girls are supposed to act feminine and boys are supposed to masculine. Through experience, I noticed that the stereotype is girls are supposed to like playing dress-up, while boys are supposed to be tough. However, my parents never made my sister or me feel that we had to conform to these stereotypes. My parents focused more on teaching us to be your own person, rather than trying to fit in.

Since I do not have a brother, I cannot compare how we were treated because of gender, but we did both “girly” things, but we also both liked to play sports. I do not think my parents really corrected my behavior because I am a girl. The one thing that I have encountered is that people are gentler to my sister and I than my male cousins. At family events, they usually like to watch sports and play outside, while the girls stay inside and talk.

I think going to an all-girls high school has really affected my understanding of gender and made me more aware of gender inequality. I have learned that it may be more difficult to do certain things because of my gender, but that doesn’t mean that I should stop trying. I have also learned that everyone doesn’t need to fit the stereotype of what a girl “should be”. Each person is unique, and people should not be all grouped together because of their gender. To me, being a woman can have very different meanings and it is being whoever you want to be. It is being someone who can make their own choices and doesn’t become who someone else tells them to be.

I feel like these ideas of traditional gender roles in a relationship come from what is presented in the media and from stereotypes. They may also come from people observing others’ relationships, like older relatives. However, I do not think that this is the way things should be. I do not expect men to do these things such as holding doors, but I think they can still do it as a gesture of kindness, but it should not be because they feel obligated t do it. These roles or jobs should not be done because a woman feels pressured to cook or clean. I think that I get these ideals from my parents because they have taught and shown me that you do not need to have these expectations.

Miss Representation

Miss Representation was a very interesting and informative documentary about gender discrimination. For me personally, it allowed me to think of the way the media has perhaps altered my outlook on certain things. It also made me more aware of the ways women are discriminated against in the workplace. Whether in politics or in the film industry, women often have less opportunities than men. However, women are just as capable of doing all of the same jobs. More often then not, men do not want to change what they think has worked for so many years. They do not see how hiring and working with women may actually positively impact them.

Women and especially young girls are overly sexualized in the media in both news programs and reality tv. Young people are so influenced by what they see and hear that what they see in movies and tv shows could easily change of what they think of the world. This film made me notice that I have almost become numb to this treatment of women in the media. No one thinks how much of an impact the media truly does have on his or her life. After reading the article in US Catholic, I also became aware of how careful parents have to be in order to protect their children from these negative effects. They have to make sure they do not give their sons an unrealistic expectation of women and make sure that their daughters do not feel all of the immense pressure to be like the celebrities they see on tv and in magazines. It is important for women to not be so hard on themselves and their appearances, but this is often difficult because of the world we live in where almost all ads are photoshopped and everyone wants to be the most attractive.

I think the role of gender in the workplace will be more prevalent in some fields more than others, and I feel like the gender inequality will be subtle. If there is different treatment if men and women, one may not notice it right away, but later realize it. I also think that women may have to work harder to prove themselves and demonstrate that they can do whatever the job may be. However, I feel that the inequality could be getting better, but it hard to say when it will ever disappear. Going to the amount has made me more aware of the power of women around the world and how important it is to be confident in myself and my talents.

Personal mission statement

My personal mission is to be compassionate, friendly and understanding to the people whom I am close with and those who I don't know as well. To look for the best in people and not to judge others before really getting to know them. To always keep in mind my morals and beliefs when not only looking ahead but also focusing on today. To never let a day go past that is wasted. To never look back in terms of regret but to constantly learn from my mistakes. To encourage those around me.  To inspire others through hard work and dedication. To understand myself and my relationship with God. To achieve my goals and always look for ways to better myself mentally, physically, and spiritually. To smile everyday even for the smallest moments of joy and to appreciate every moment of life.